Elephant - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4
These are some of the best elephant jokes in the world.
What do you do with a green elephant?
Wait till it ripens!
What is the difference between an elephant and a flea?
An elephant can have fleas but a flea can't have elephants!
A boy with an elephant on his head went to see a doctor. The doctor said, "You
know you really need help"
"Yes I do", said the elephant, "get this kid off my foot!"
What happened to the elephant who ran away with the circus?
The police made him bring it back!
Why are elephants wiser than chickens?
Have you ever heard of
Kentucky Fried Elephant?!
What do you call an elephant that can't add?
Dumbo!
What do an elephant
and a car have in common?
They both have trunks!
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
Swimming trunks!
Why was the elephant standing on the marshmallow?
He didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!
What is big, gray and wears glass slippers?
Cinderellaphant!
How is a flee different than an elephant?
An elephant can have flees but a flee can't have elephants!
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a peanut butter sandwich?
Either a sandwich that never forgets, or an elephant that sticks to the roof of
your mouth!!
Why did the elephant break the bottle?
Because he wanted to get out!
How do you get an elephant to the top of an oak tree?
Plant an acorn under him and wait 50 years.
What if I don't want to wait 50 years?
Put a parachute on the elephant and drop him from an elecopter.
How do you get an elephant down from an oak tree?
Tell him to sit on a leaf and wait until autumn.
Why are alligators long and flat?
They must have gotten too close to the oak tree.
What do you call an elephant takes a bite out of the computer?
A mega-byte!
How can you get 5 elephants in a Volkswagen?
Put 2 in the front seat and 3 in the back.
How do you stop an elephant from charging?
By removing his batteries!
Why are elephants big and gray?
Because if they were small and red they would be apples.
How do you know peanuts are fattening?
Because you never see a skinny elephant!
What is big, gray, and wears glass slippers?
Cinderelephant.
What's gray, has big ears and a trunk?
A mouse going on vacation!!!
How do you stop an elephant from charging?
Take away his credit card.
Why are elephants large, grey, and wrinkley?
If they were small, white, and smooth they would be aspirin.
How do you know there's an elephant in the fridge?
Footprints in the butter.
How do you know there's an elephant in the oven?
You can't shut the door.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.
How do you know there's an elephant under your bed?
Your head touches the ceiling.
Why does an elephant take a shower?
Because he can't fit in the bathtub!
What's the red stuff between elephant's toes?
Slow pygmies.
Why does an elephant paint his toenails yellow?
So he can hide upside down in a custard bowl.
What's grey and highly dangerous?
An elephant with a
machine gun!
What's big and grey and has 16 wheels?
An elephant on roller
skates!
What goes up slowly and comes down quickly?
An elephant in a lift!
What grey, has a wand, huge wings and gives money to elephants?
The tusk fairy!
What has 3 tails, 4 trunks and 6 feet?
An elephant with spare
parts!
What's grey but turns red?
An embarrassed
elephant!
What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers?
Cinderelephant!
When should you feed milk to a baby elephant?
When it's a baby
elephant!
How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?
When your nose touches
the ceiling!
What do you call an elephant that flies?
A jumbo jet!
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let
out a little wine!
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over
Australia!
What's the difference between a sick elephant and seven days?
One is a weak one and
the other one week!
What pill would you give to an elephant that can't sleep?
Trunkquilizers!
Why are elephants grey?
So you can tell them
from flamingos!
Elephant Keeper: "My Elephant isn't well, do you know a good animal doctor?
" Zoo Keeper: "No, all
the doctors I know are people!"
Why do elephants scratch themselves?
Because they're the
only ones who know where they itch!
How does an elephant get down from a tree?
He sits on a leaf and
waits till autumn!
Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours?
Because he wanted to
hide in the colouring box!
What's the difference between an elephant and a bad pupil?
One rarely bites and
the other barely writes!
How to you tell the difference between an elephant and a mouse?
Try picking them up!
What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?
About 3,000 miles!
Why do elephants eat raw food?
Because they don't
know how to cook!
What kind of elephants live in Antartica?
Cold ones!
How do you fit five elephants into a car?
Two in the front, two
in the back and the other in the glove compartment!
How does an elephant get out of a small car?
The same way that he
got in!
Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they would
look silly carrying suitcases!
What do you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant?
An animal that tells
you everything that it remembers!
What is a baby elephant after he is five weeks old?
Six weeks old!
What did the elephant say when the man grabbed him by the tail?
This is the end of me!
Policeman: "One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle."
Zoo Keeper: "Nonsense,
none of my elephants knows how to ride a bicycle!"
Why do the elephants have short tails?
Because they can't
remember long stories!
How to you keep an elephant in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
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