Elephant - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4
These are some of the best elephant jokes in the world.
"Dad, Mum is fighting with an enormous elephant in the garden!"
"Don't worry dear, I'm sure the elephant can look after itself!"
My elephants got no trunk?
How does it smell?
Terrible!
What do elephants sing at christmas?
Noel-ephants, Noel-ephants... Who do elephants get their christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus!
How do you hire an elephant?
Stand it on four bricks!
What is the easy way to get a wild elephant?
Get a tame one and
annoy it!
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
Here come the elephants!
Why is an elephant braver than a hen?
Because the elephant isn't chicken!
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Raining elephants!
How are elephants and hippopotanuses alike?
Neither can play basketball!
How do you stop an angry elephant from charging?
Take away it's credit cards!
What did the baby elephant get when the daddy elephant sneezed?
Out of the way!
How do you raise a baby elephant?
With a fork lift truck!
What's the best way to see a charging herd of elephants?
On television!
Why don't elephants
like playing cards in the jungle?
Because of all the cheetahs!
What do you call a elephant that never washes?
A smellyphant!
Teacher: "Where would you find an elephant?"
Pupil:"You don't have to find them, they're too big to lose!"
What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear?
Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Teacher:"To which family does the elephant belong?"
Pupil:"I don't know, nobody I know owns one!"
How do you spell elephant?
E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t
"That's not how the dictionary spells it"
"You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it!"
Teacher: "Name six wild animals"
Pupil:"Four elephants and two lions!"
What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court?
Annette!
Bill: "My homework is really difficult tonight, I've to write an essay on an
elephant."?
Bert: "Well, for a start your going to need a big ladder.." Why do elephants do
well in school?
Because they have a lot of grey matter!
What do you call an
elephant with a machine gun?
Sir!
What can an elephant with a machine gun call you?
Anything he likes!
What do you call an elephant that's small and pink?
A failure!
What is stronger an elephant or a snail?
A snail, because it carries it's house, an elephant just carries its trunk!
What do you give an elephant with big feet?
Plenty of room!
Tarzan was tired when he came home.
"What have you been doing", asked Jane.
"Chasing a herd of elephants on vines"
"Really?", said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground!"
What would happen if an elephant sat in front of you at the movies?
You would miss most of the film!
What steps would you take if you were being chased by an elephant?
Big ones!
What do you find in an elephants graveyard?
Elephantoms!
Why do elephants have wrinkly ankes?
Because their shoes are too tight!
A man was sprinkling
some white powder on his lawn.
"Why are you doing that?
" asked his neighbour
"It's to keep the elephants off the grass", he replied.
"But we don't get elephants round here!"
"I know - good stuff isn't it!"
What do you call someone with an elephant on their head?
Squashed!
What is an elephants favorite film?
Elephantasia What do elephants say as a compliment?
You look elephantastic!
What do you do with old cannon balls?
Give them to elephants to use as marbles!
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks!
Why did the elephant
walk on two feet?
To give the ants a chance!
Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they've no pockets to put things in!
Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain?
To stop getting wet!
What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill
towards him wearing sunglasses?
Nothing, he didn't recognize them!
When do elephants have 8 feet?
When there are two of them!
What did the elephant say to the famous detective?
It's ele-mentary, my dear Sherlock!
Zoo Keeper:"I've lost one of my elephants"
Other Zoo Keeper:"Why don't you put an advert in the paper?"
Zoo Keeper:"Don't be silly, he can't read!"
Why shouldn't you take an elephant to the zoo?
Because he'd rather go to the movies!
What's blue and has big ears?
An elephant at the North Pole!
What's grey and lights up?
An electric elephant!
What's big and grey and protects you from the rain?
An umbrellaphant!
What do you do with a green elephant?
Wait till it ripens!
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