These are some of the best dog jokes in the world.
Why did the dog chase the red cape?
Because he was a bull dog!
What do you get if you cross a dog and a skunk?
Rid of the dog
What dog wears contact lenses?
A cock-eyed spaniel!
What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?
That hit the spots!
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because its hard to run in squares!
What do you get if you cross a dog with Concorde?
A jet setter!
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppy dogs!
Why did the dachshund bite the woman's ankle?
Because he was short and couldn't reach any higher!
Where do Eskimos train their dogs?
In the mush room!
Why did the snowman call his dog Frost?
Because frost bites!
What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog?
An animal that barks at low flying aircraft!
What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog?
Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!
When is the most likely time that a stray dog will walk into your house?
When the door is open!
Why don't dogs make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
Where does a Rottweiller sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to!
What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound!
What is a dog's favorite food?
Anything that is on your plate!
What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah?
A dog that chases cars - and catches them!
What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?
A petticoat!
What do you get if you cross a dog and a lion?
A terrified postman!
What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
His bark was much worse than it's bite!
What is a dogs favorite flower?
Anything in your garden!
What's a dog favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas!
What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena?
I don't know but I'll join in if it laughs!
Why do you need a licence for a dog and not for a cat?
Cats can't drive!
What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy road?
A mutt in a rut!
What do you get if you cross a dog with a blind mole?
A dog that keeps barking up the wrong tree!
What do you call a happy Lassie?
A jolly collie!
What do you call a nutty dog in Australia?
A dingo-ling!
What dogs are best for sending telegrams?
Wire haired terriers!!
What kind of dog does a vampire prefer?
Any kind of bloodhound!
What kind of dog sniffs out new flowers?
A bud hound!
Why is it called a "litter" of puppies?
Because they mess up the whole
house!
What is the best time to take a
Rottweiler for a walk?
Any times he wants to!
When is a black dog not a black dog?
When it's a greyhound!
How do you feel if you cross a sheepdog with a melon?
Melon-collie!
What do you call a litter of young dogs who have come in from the snow?
Slush puppies!
What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?
Cockerpoodledoo!
What do you call a sheepdog's tail that can tell tall stories?
A shaggy dogs tale!
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
Terrier-fied!
What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?
Dingo Starr!
When does a dog go "moo"?
When it is learning to speak 'cow'
What happens to a dog that keeps eating bits off of the table?
He gets splinters in his mouth!
What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals?
A guard dog!
What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater?
A plain clothes police dog!
What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep?
A sheep that can round itself up!
How do you know when it's raining cats and
dogs?
When you step in a poodle!
Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
He was trying to make both ends meet!
What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?
"Well, doggone!"
Why are dogs like phones?
Because they have collar IDs.
Where do you put a barking dog?
In a barking lot!
Why did the dog go to court?
Because it got a barking ticket!
Who is the dogs favorite comedian?
Growlcho Marx!
What goes tick-tock bow-wow tick-tock bow-wow?
A watch dog!
What do grown up dogs say to their puppies?
Hush, puppies!
What does a dog call his father?
Paw. Paw.
What is the dogs favorite city?
New Yorkie!
Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!
How come the Dalmatian couldn't hide?
Because he was already spotted!
"The Fire Dog"
The school bus was
taking kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front
seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog.
The children started discussing what the dog's duties might be."They use him to
keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child concluded. "No silly, they use the dogs to find the fire hydrant!"
What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
He stole the show!
Please email funny stuff to Wow this is Funny
