Love's Animals

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These are some of the best cats jokes in the world.

How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?

They never cry over spilt milk!

 

What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?

A sourpuss!

 

How are tigers like sergeants in the army?

They both wear stripes!

 

Why was the cat so small?

Because it only ate condensed milk!

 

How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?

'Pleased to eat you.'!

 

There were four cats in a boat, one jumped out. How many were left?

 None. They were all copy cats!

 

What is a cat's favorite pudding?

 Chocolate mousse!

 

Who was the most powerful cat in China?

 Chairman Miaow!

 

Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house?

 Because she heard fowl language!

 

What cat purrs more than any other?

Purrsians!

 

How do you spell mousetrap in just three letters?

C-A-T!

 

What does a cat call a bowl of mice?

A purrfect meal!

 

What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny!

 

What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?

'Let us prey.'

 

What do you get if cross a Tomcat with a Pekingese?

A Peking Tom!

 

What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have?

A catastrophe!

 

What works in a circus, walks a tightrope and has claws?

 An acrocat!

 

What do you call a cat wearing shoes?

Puss in boots!

 

 What happened when the cat swallowed a coin?

 There was some money in the kitty!

 

What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese?

 He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath!

 

 What noise does a cat make going down the highway?

 Miaooooooooooooooooooow!

 

What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea?

A catameringue!

 

On what should you mount a statue of your cat?

A caterpillar!

 

A cat's dictionary

Purring: Sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness.

Purrverse: Poem about a strange kitty.

Purranoi The fear that your cat is up to something.

Human being: Automatic door opener for cats.

Purrpetual: Everlasting love for domesticated felines.

Purrson: A male kitty.

Purrpetual motion: A kitty playing.

 

How do you know when it's raining cats and dogs?

When you step in a poodle!

 

What do cats like to eat?

Mice cream!

 

What do cats like on their hot dogs?

Mouse-tard!

 

Whats a cats favorite fish?

Catfish

 

What do cats eat for breakfast?

Mice-crispies!

 

What does a cat read?

CAT-alogs!

 

What is a cat's favorite song?

Three blind mice!

 

What kind of car do cats drive?

Cat-illacs!

 

What's a cat's favorite color?

Purrrrrrple!

 

What do you get when you cross a cat, a dog,and an A+?

Paws-itively purrr-fect!

 

What do cats call their grandfather?

Grandpaw!

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- United Animal Rescuers